Saturday, 27 July 2013

The last goodbye

There is only one thing we know with absolute certainty about life:
That one day we will die.
How or when is a mystery that most of us will only uncover in our very last breaths.
A couple of weeks ago I received the very sad message that my 92 year old grandmother was riddled with cancer. She was still 100% with it, clear as a bell and managing perfectly well on her own in an apartment in Voss.

 As you may know by know my grandmother was my idol. When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to become my answer was "Just like my grandmother". She loved nature and animals, was caring and loving in her own ways. Still very "old school" in all her years as a "budeie" I never once saw her in trousers, she was always in skirts, even on her cross country ski's. 
She was up until the day she died in total control. She refused any sort of cancer treatment saying she had 92 very happy years on this earth and that she was now ready to leave, thank you very much!
Luckily her pain was minimal throughout her last weeks.
My mother was with her on her last day here on earth and she said it was really touching and moving to be able to sit with her. By this stage they had talked about everything from how my grandmother wanted the funeral to all the other important stuff she wanted my mother to know.
To sit on the other side of the earth and hearing about all this has been beyond painful.
I tried to get a flight home but due to July/August both being so busy months here the first flight I was able to get onto was a business class in the beginning of August. Way out of my pocket. 
So instead I got to talk to her on the mobile phone, which was hard enough as I really have a problem with phones and how do you say goodbye to someone you know you will never see again that has meant so much to you over the phone? 
One of the hardest conversations I have ever had. 
May you rest in peace my beloved grandmother!


  1. Oh. *hug* I can not imagine that phone call. I adore my grandmother so much and her health is getting a little bad lately... and being 2,500 miles away from her is so extremely hard.

    I lost my mother to cancer and it's not an easy thing to witness someone to have. Especially when they're not getting any better. But your grandmother -- wow, what an outlook she had! Seems like such a wonderful lady, smart, kind and inspiring. I can't thank you enough for sharing this. <3

    I'm sending you so many hugs + good thoughts!!

  2. a beautiful tribute to someone I know you held very dear.

  3. I'm so sorry you were not able to see her one last time, but I'm so glad you talked to her at least over the phone. She sounds like such a wonderful lady! It's so inspiring to hear that she was your role model. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers!

  4. Oh my dearest, all my heart is with You and your family! That must be the most painful moment and I just hope that all the good memories You have of her will help You through this terrible loss.

    A big, big hug

  5. Kjære deg Hildegunn, Så trist å høre, men så fint du skriver om din kjære bestemor. Ser at dere har hatt fine sykkelturer på øyen. Artig å se hvordan det ser ut på selve øyen også. Jeg er for tiden i USA på vei hjem etter en konferanse. Alt bra med oss. God klem til deg fra Therese